Havi M. Dennis

In lieu of flowers or gifts please remember Havi’s love of animals and consider making a contribution to the Central Oklahoma Humane Society.

http://www.okhumane.org/donate/havi

Havi’s Dad

The time will stand as announced: Friday, August 6, 2010 at 2:30 PM CST.

I will get the link to the Central Oklahoma Humane Society website as soon as it is available.

Thank you to all.  We will celebrate Havi’s life and memories.

Please pray,

Havi’s Dad

We have made arrangements for Havi’s Memorial Service.  It will be Friday afternoon at All Souls Episcopal Church.  Father Charles F. Blizzard will officiate over the service.

We do not have a correct time as of yet.  I think it will be 2:30 PM (CST).

The address is: 6400 North Pennsylvania, Oklahoma City, OK  73116-5626 (corner of North Pennsylvania & 63rd Street).

We want to extend an invitation to all of those who have been touched by Havi.

Please pray

Havi’s Dad

I don’t know how to say this in a gentle way.  Havi died yesterday.

Havi lived life with all of her strength.  She died with dignity.

We are asking that you send no flowers.  If you would like to remember Havi with a donation to the Central Oklahoma Humane Society that would make her very happy.

We are working to get a link to their website and they are working to get a page for Havi on their website.

Havi is in Heaven.  She is no longer fighting to live.  She did not suffer.

I’ll post again as soon as I can finalize the arrangements with the Central Oklahoma Humane Society.

Please pray.

We made it home this afternoon with Havi.  Her T-tube came out and she is back to having a trach tube.  Her larynx (voice box) is so swollen that she cannot move air through to talk or to breathe.

Dr. Clark is concerned that this may be a long-term problem.  I think that he may be trying to prepare us for a long-term tracheostomy.  He does hope that in the next few days she will have some decrease in swelling.  If so we can think that the T-tube caused some irritation.

We do believe that the T-tube has helped remodel the trachea.  I believe she will be talking again in two days.  Havi is still strong and wants to get better.

Prayer has been so powerful in Havi’s recovery.  How can we ever thank you for the prayers?  Thank you for all the support, encouragement and affection.

“O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!”  (Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Sc. 5, 44)

Please pray.

Havi may have the T-tube removed today. We hope it has been in place long enough to have remodeled her trachea. She developed an infection with fever over the weekend. We were happy to have her home. We hope she will get to go home today after they pull the T-tube.

I must say thank you to all who have followed along with Havi’s recovery. We have shared some emotional times since this all started 4 1/2 months ago. I have trailed off on the frequency of postings for two reasons: Recovery has been slow (a double edged sword) and I’m running out of emotional energy. This has gone on so long that I find myself putting off making a post. I guess I’ve started to associate the blog with Havi’s illness.

I’ll post again today if we get good news or bad news. If there is a delay (I didn’t communicate well with the surgeon) it will postpone getting the T-tube removed and I will wait to post when it happens.

At any rate I will call an end to this blog this week. Thank you again for your comments and support. This has been a tremendous task for me. Deborah has appreciated the support. Havi has not wanted to read the comments. She has enjoyed hearing some of them that her peers wrote that I would read to her.

Please pray.

T-tube:  A device that is “T” shaped made of silicone or like material.  It has a large caliber that runs within the windpipe.  The “T” is a smaller caliber tube that exits the windpipe through the incision where the trach tube was previously.

Havi went to surgery today.  The windpipe deformity from the first trach tube did not improve with the smaller trach tube.  Dr. Clark cut away the flap that was obstructing the airway and inserted a T-tube.

The first few hours were very difficult for Havi.  She is now more calm.  We can cap this tube and she will be able to talk much more easily.

We are hopeful that she will be able to have this removed in 10-14 days (another surgery).  She will spend the night in the hospital tonight.  She will see Dr. Clark in his office tomorrow to take a look with a small scope.

This step gets us closer to getting Havi breathing on her own.  She is getting stronger every day.  Please pray.

Havi was not able to breath with the trach tube removed this afternoon.  She will go back to surgery for another look.

Please pray.

Havi is scheduled to have her trach tube removed today after 2:00 pm.  She is, as she has been, anxious about the process.  Mrs. Heely, Havi’s tutor, received this message from her father-in-law, Admiral Heely.  Admiral Heely was a fighter pilot in the Gulf War.

Havi – Mrs. Heely told me you knew all about aircraft carriers, so I thought you might like to watch this video of a pilot getting launched and returning to the ship.You probably do not fully realize just how scary it is — when the plane is almost ready to launch, the pilot has put the power to 100%, the whole aircraft is shaking and its incredibly loud,  and you never know just exactly what will happen when you are launched.  You know it is going to be good to get away from the ship and be all by yourself,  flying and climbing and turning and soaring —- but you can never be exactly sure and sometimes it seems like it would be better to just stay there on deck, and not go flying at all, because even though it’s not that much fun, it’s not so frightenening either.

But you go ahead and salute, the Catapault Officer salutes back, touches the deck, and you are launched — you accelerate from 0 to 150 miles an hour in about two seconds, g forces go from 0 to about 8, and then when things seem like they can’t get any more intense you are suddenly flung from the carrier and you are flying free and high in the sky….

It’s the most awesome  feeling to be free like that — it is worth all the worry you had before you launched.

Admiral Heely is pulling for Havi to make it through her anxiety because it is worth the effort.  It is great to have so many people pulling for Havi.

If you want to see the video:   http://vholdr.com/video/lap-around-boat

Please pray.

In this post I will describe events that may make you uncomfortable.  It may make you search your heart.  It may make you think I’m more than a half-bubble off plumb.

Yesterday marked the end of four months since Havi went into the hospital.  During this time we have watched her come close to death.  We have seen her courage as she fought to live.

Havi has been a strong child.  She believes in God.  She is determined when she sets a goal.  She loves her mother and father.  She has a capacity for love and friendship that many of you have experienced first hand.

Today is the start of the fifth month of this illness.  I can tell you that Havi is scared to have the trach tube removed.  She has become psychologically dependent on the equipment that supports her breathing.  She no longer needs any additional external equipment.  Her internal equipment, the new valve and the pacemaker are all she really needs to survive.  Her heart, lungs and kidneys have recovered (speaking only of the mechanics, not the love and caring that she needs).

One of the most treasured stories I have ever heard from Havi was about her experience when her heart was being operated on the first time.  She was 18 months old.  When she was about four years old Havi experienced the death of a grandfather figure.  We told her that “…he went to Heaven.”  Havi simply said, “Well call him back!”  We asked her to explain.  Havi told us that she had died and gone to Heaven.  She was in a large, warm room.  All the toys she ever wanted lined the walls.  She saw several people at the end of the room calling out to her to come to them.  ”I heard mom calling me and I came back.”

At 18 months, her first heart surgery, was going to be a repair.  Dr. Starr left her in surgery to tell us that he could not fix her valve.  ”We can let her die on the table, we can leave her chest open and take her back to the ICU and think about it for a few days or we can put in an artificial valve.”  Not very good news, poorly delivered.  I encouraged him to return to Havi and put in an artificial valve.  Deborah and I went to the Chapel at Emanuel Hospital in Portland.  We prayed.  Finally, Michael came to get us and we returned to talk with Dr. Starr.  He explained that he had done a more aggressive repair and was able to fix the valve.  We were elated.  Dr. McIrvin, her cardiologist was furious.  He wanted a valve, not a repair.  We were victorious, or so we thought.  The repair failed and Havi was back in surgery two months later and got her first mechanical valve.

When we moved to Oklahoma we got the records from Havi’s first surgeries.  When we reviewed these we discovered that during the first open heart surgery there was a significant problem getting her heart restarted.  There were six rounds of medicines and electrical stimulation to her heart.  Finally, her heart started beating again.

To finish the story above, Havi told us that she talked to God when she was in the room.  Havi told this story with the same affection and intimacy that she uses when she tells stories about her mom.

When we took Havi to Italy to be baptized she would, as we visited some of the old Churches, waive at a statue of Jesus as we entered.  Some of the other Churches seemed to have an off-putting effect and she would ask to leave.

This story, told by my daughter, changed my life.  Recently, Deborah asked Havi; “Did you see God this time [when you were so sick]?”  Havi replied, “No, just Jesus.”  I know that God is looking out for Havi and that Heaven is real.  Havi told me.

I hope that by sharing this story with you it will give you the strength to keep up the fight.  Havi needs encouragement to overcome the fear associated with removing the trach tube.

It is time to pray.

Havi decided she would get out of the house today.  She made it to the shoe store and got a new pair.  She said she tolerated the outing without any difficulty.

The trach tube is still the obstacle between her and the real world.  She is overwhelmed with anxiety as she tries to breathe around the tube.  She is facing this with so little enthusiasm.  I wish there were some way to motivate her.  Peer pressure may be one of the most effective ways to motivate her as parental encouragement is, well, blah, blah, blah.

Havi has not made much progress since her last doctor’s visit.  Her ability to tolerate being off the oxygen is improved.  I just don’t think she will look very happy with a T-tube.

Please pray.

Havi could not tolerate the attempt.  She will have the trach for two more weeks.  If she cannot tolerate taking it out then she will have to undergo a  more aggressive approach.  Please pray.

Havi is facing a day that we have been anticipating for a very long time.  The trach tube may be removed today.  It is hard to know if she will be up to the task.  Havi has grown increasingly anxious over the course of this recovery.

Last week when she went to Clark’s office she was not tolerating the stress well.  Havi has, in the past, been able to face doctor’s visits with strength.  Last Friday it was fear that lead the way.  Last Friday she could have lost her trach tube, she no longer needs it.  She has grown psychologically dependent on the oxygen and tubing.

Today she has a choice.  She can go down a size and continue to hang out in her room surrounded by machinery or she can say goodbye to the trach and get on to the next step in her recovery.

I personally vote for throwing the trach tube in the trash.  It has been 113 days since I placed Havi on the examination table in the emergency department.  That is just about 4 months since I’ve heard her true voice.  I miss being able to hear her voice.

Havi is strong enough to face this step and make progress today.  Unfortunately, she has grown dependent and anxious.  I am asking for a lot of encouragement.  Please, if you have a minute this morning, send a text of encouragement to Havi.  If you don’t have her phone number I’ll try to respond to requests via email so I don’t expose the number to everyone.

Please pray.

Havi got a much smaller trache tube today. The outside diameter is smaller than the inside diameter of the old trach tube. Havi thinks the air feels funny going through her nose. We are on hopes that it will be gone Tuesday.

Please pray.

We did not get the trach tube removed today. It was a disappointment yet it was a good trip. We have a plan and we still have a chance to get it out before Havi’s birthday.

The problem, the tube is too big. Long time readers will remember this story in a slightly different version. Because the tube fills her windpipe no air gets around it and we don’t hear her talk. There is good clinical evidence that her vocal cords are moving. This is, so I’m told, good news. Check back when Havi is a teenager, I’ll have an opinion.

When a tracheostomy is performed the skin incision is above the incision in the trachea. This offset accommodates the curve of the trach tube. The tube, when too big, can push the trachea over and close off the tube. I have tried to illustrate this in the drawings below.

The plan is to start replacing her trach tube every few days as tolerated with progressively smaller tubes. This will allow her to adapt to breathing through her upper airway again. All in all today was very successful.

I will again ask that you pray.